How to mend broken hearts

 

It's finally over and you can't believe it. Whether you called it, or your partner did, your whole world stops; whatever the reasons were. What to do then?

All I know is that there is no easy remedy. It doesn't matter how much they tell you "Don't think about him/her!" or "You gotta distract yourself" I promise you, you will be miserable. 

However, it's not all hopeless.

The first thing to do here is to relax yourself -relatively speaking- and breathe deeply.

Secondly, don't use your phone, Facebook or any social outlet that relates to that other person, you will then start to obsess about what they're doing, thinking, etc. and you don't need this now.

Now, the next thing is to think, it will get better and I don't deserve this.

I will now give you some tips that should help anyone when they break up:

1. Stay positive.

2. Look for friends and distract yourself.

3. Talk about it with those you trust but don't overdo it, you will only make yourself look bad and make people uncomfortable.

4. Take time for yourself.

5. Do all the things you didn't get to do because you were with someone else. 

6. For now, I think that focusing on things that made you mad will make you miss that other person even less. But don't stay mad forever or hold grudges!! If you do, you will never move on.

7. Pretty much an important point here, allow yourself to grief and feel pain.

Many times we try to avoid pain, depression, tears, etc. and it's normal because we are human; it is almost instinct. However, if we avoid something so strong, what will happen is that we will think so much about it trying not to, that it will end up being worse. So for now, embrace the pain. How to do it: Think for a moment and make a schedule - yes a schedule - now, set yourself some time to think alone about the situation, what happened, why it happened, and how can you manage it. Then set aside sometime to cry, watch corny movies, listen to emo music and let it all out, go crazy. But!!!! it is important that when you are done with this period you set yourself straight and go up like a rocket and do your best to feel better all the way. That means always be accompanied by friends, listen to good music, go to the movies, concerts, hell even go to church. After you do these two opposite actions then start regulating yourself and taking control of your emotions. Set some minutes to grieve but don't invest so much time on that.

Finally, and all I can say, you aren't the first or last person on Earth to go through this. You will feel better, I promise. For now, stay away, very very very very away from that person and when you feel in control of yourself and the situation then if you want, try to establish a friendly casual relationship. You are worth a lot and no one should be able to hold so much control of someone else, besides, if they don't appreciate you, why the hell you want to be with them?

Hope this helps, to whomever reads this, always stay positive, don't blame love, blame the people and live life to the fullest.

Remember: Hakuna Matata.

Love you,

Niki.

Crystal's Kingdom: Obesity Woe

Crystal's Kingdom: Obesity Woe: WTF! My weight has recently gnawed at my confidence. Well it is actually a trouble for other gals that never trouble me for years. I really...

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Hopefully this will all pass. I can't pretend to feel something different. Inside my heart breaks but like the song says, my smile still stays on. I love you more than I love myself, and words can't describe what I want to say, so I choose to not say anything. I opt for distractions and I long for a different situation, but sadly my circumstances are such that I must accept and embrace what goes around me. I walk away because I don't want to talk. If I say what I truly feel, I am afraid that you will think bad of me. I repress my emotions and cry in the silence of my dark room. What I need, is not what I have, so what I want, is definitely out of the question. I explain to you but you fail to understand. But I know that in the end all will pass. And I know that this miserable feeling, that makes me feel like shit because of you is just temporary. I honestly don't know how I feel at the moment, but I just hope with all my heart that tomorrow will be one of the longest days of my life.

Love and Distance, an Eye Opening Opportunity

Sometimes life takes you to far off places and brings you new opportunities, but with this opportunities you must abandon old opportunities even if only for a short period of time. This is really important in our lives, especially in romance life. This time should always be taken as a positive opportunity because somehow it measures the real feelings in the hearts of both persons in the relationship.

When you are far away from the one you love you can learn how to really appreciate this love. Maybe the contrary will happen, and you will learn that in reality you don't love this person. But why does this happen? I believe that when we are immersed in a situation, our perception will be limited to this situation and we may be ignorant of bigger perspectives. When you leave this immersion you can then be able to observe your current situation from a different perspective and take notice of elements that where in your 'blind spot'. Not only this, but when you change your rhythm of life, and also meet new people, you can learn new ways of thinking and apply what you think is right and you evolve in life and grow as a person.

When you grow as a person then you can make your relationship a more mature relationship. Not only maturing relationship, but you can also bring new fresh things to the relationship and this will help keep that love 'spark' on in your romantic life. Also sometimes when we are in a relationship we forget who we are and this distance is good to remind yourself that you are still one person different from your partner, and this is actually good. 

I believe that all in all, taking breaks from your love life is not only healthy, but also important. Because by doing this you can have a reality check in your romance life and you will notice if this person you are with is really important in your life. If you notice this person is necessary in your life then maybe you should reconsider this because people you are with are for complimenting you in your daily life but it is not healthy to be dependent from them. Always make sure that in your love life you are in control of yourself, give each other space to do what you want and also time to be together. 

Remember, you are one plus one, not one times one. I hope that if you travel and are away from your love, you can understand what I am saying and that you learn to appreciate the ones that love you and the ones that you love because only when we miss things is when we understand how important they are for us. 

Reflection on life and love

Sometimes we walk through Life alone, and sometimes we don't. How do we feel when we are alone? How do we feel when we are accompanied?

These two questions may be the same to millions of people, but almost all of  the answers will be different.

Many say that is better to be alone than with bad company, others say it is better to be with someone, no matter what, than to be alone. These answers seem so simple, but they are so complex.

I believe that before even answering these questions, we have to see ourselves and put ourselves in question.

Who are we? How are we? What do we like? Who do we like?

There are many things to ponder upon before even consider answering the questions above planted.

I have said many times that Life is simple, but even then I didn't really understood why does Life seem so complicated at times.
Now, I think I know.

Life indeed is simple, but us, well we are complicated. We are complex beings of amazing nature. We are full of paradoxes, necessities, minds, ways of thinking and many other things.  And it is because of this, that life may be hard to us at times.

We should all take some time, especially this new year, to reflect upon ourselves, get to know us deep down, and when we do, we will be able to know what we want, what we need, and why. Only then will we be able to love ourselves, and then, to love others.

I miss you!; What to do when he/she is away

Ahhhhhhhh there comes a time when we are away from those we love be it because they are on a trip, or because they just left to go home. It is then when we feel something peculiar... we miss them. But is it ok? Is it natural? To what extent should we feel so?

Well, I ain't no expert on love, I am a very avid apprentice, but I am gonna share with you what I think is the answer to these questions based on the experience I've had and the experience others I've known have had. ... hehe 

That said, I believe that when we miss someone, it is something very natural and something good. It means we like the company of the person and we want to spend more time with them. If we are in love, we know that we want to spend every waking hour with him/her. But up to where is it healthy?

It is ok to miss your partner and want to spend more time with them, sometimes even you want to shrink 'em and put 'em in your pocket so you'd be every moment with them, but we can't forget that we have our own lives, and they have theirs. What I mean is, good company is always, well, good. But there always have to be a time for each other to be themselves and to take distance. When we are with someone so much time, we start turning into them, it's like two people start to fuse when they spend every moment together. Yes, there are exceptions, but the element of uniqueness should always be present because that's what our partners love about us and it's also one of the things that make relationships interesting. Also, sometimes our partners, or even us, can get  bored with each other, and we most definitely don't want that.

Sometimes, I confess, I get a little bit too clingy and I can make my partner feel a little bit suffocated. Of course, when I notice, or when he tells me, I take a little bit of distance and give him his personal space to do his own things. We tend to forget that relationships are a relation between two people. A relationship is not two people being one. So we have our own lives and then we have our lives together. It is a bit hard to explain for me but I hope you understand. 

So when he or she is away and you feel lonely or miss your partner, distract yourself. Do the things you like that they don't enjoy particularly or hang out with your friends! Because many times we forget we even have them.

Point is that, miss them, but don't let them be your life. Separate yourself from your relationship and be yourself, because then your partner will love you even more. Love is tricky, but that's why we are clever. ;)

Benefits of falling in love

At times we wonder, is it worth it? Is it worth it to fall in love?

Well, I don't pretend to tell you what is the correct answer, for it is something that varies person to person. My reasons differ from yours, and so on. But, I will do give you my opinion along with some fast research I did.

I believe it is worth it to fall in love. Why? For many reasons!

Being in love gives us many emotional, physical and psychological benefits. 

Being in love makes us feel better, great, happy, and just plain giddy. 

As my profile states, I am a psychology student and I have learned quite a few things. One of the things I learned which surprised me and made me understand better this love emotion, has to do with neurotransmitters. 

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that, when balanced or with a little too much flowing around in your head, makes you feel great. It's the one that deals with how happy or sad you are. It is actually very associated with depression, for when you have low levels of serotonin, you become depressed. But to the point, when we are in love, we generate this transmitter and we balance it's levels, perhaps we even produce more than necessary, and this is why when we are in love we are happier, merrier and plain just giddy.

On the same note, falling in love calms the body which allows it to stimulate nerve growth which pretty much restores your nervous system creating new brain cells making you smarter!

Also, given the nature of what falling in love is, we connect to others in a very deep emotional way that, believe it or not, has payed off in fighting ovarian cancer. You see, the University of Iowa has found in a recent study that patients with ovarian cancer that have a good relationship with others (like the relationships we're talking about here), have better chance to eliminate cancerous cells around tumors than those patients that lack this type of relationship.

Another benefit of falling in love is in relation to the heart. According to Dr. John Marsden PhD, when we talk with someone we find attractive, the brain gets excited and sends impulses to the heart which accelerate the pumping rhythm by three times improving the body's circulation, this being why we feel "butterflies" in our stomach.

And another reason, amongst many others that I will leave out, love makes us stay young. It does this because when we are in love, we release endorphins that help keep our skin soft, smooth and decrease wrinkles. 

So in conclusion, love brings  a lot of benefits. It also gives us someone to talk to and share a lot of experiences with which will last forever. Sure we could talk about the disadvantages of love, like broken hearts and frustration, but when we look at the benefits we can minimize these and think better about love. 

In the end, positive or negative, love brings us life experiences that will help us grow, mature and appreciate life for how it is. I believe that be it love, or new things, or whatever it is that life has in store for us, we shouldn't give it our back without at least trying it first. Because life is like the world, it goes round and round and it brings us many surprises that makes us happy, sad, mad, content, but it is, in the end, what makes us feel alive. 

Reference:

http://health.ninemsn.com.au/family/womenshealth/695370/the-health-benefits-of-love